Painting, Said to Be Worth 1,000 Words, Dies at 32,007

Painting, which challenged the imaginations of countless prehistoric cave dwellers and body-pierced, tattooed Chelsea denizens alike, died last week. She was 32,007 and had a good run.

Her estranged husband, Philistine “Phil” Iconoclasm, confirmed the death, explaining that the police suspected foul play, though the case “is not as simple as Mr. Green in the drawing room with the palette knife.” She died surrounded by her friends, as she lay on her hospital bed at Saint-Paul-de-Mausole, where she insisted on using her broken palette as her pillow, and her faded beret sadly became her pale skin.